Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
