Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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