turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
