Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
