Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
