oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Panties = found
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