I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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