whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
