I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize