it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
