I understand Curling. That high.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
