Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
