On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
