He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
