So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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