I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He better not be in your backpack
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
