we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
