I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
