Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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