Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize