Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There r osticjed everywhere
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
