Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Someone came in the potted fern
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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