Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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