like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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