yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
