Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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