i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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