I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
