I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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