I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
