Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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