What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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