yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
