Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
