Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
