Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
