Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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