Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
