They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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