I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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