Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
