You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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