I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
