How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
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But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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