Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
