Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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