I wish my penis had an off switch
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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