she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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