i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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