Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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