I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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