did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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