you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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