Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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