thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
