Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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