this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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