Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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