oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can't turn off my feet"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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