She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
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I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
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Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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