I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
