so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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